MAMMA BALI’S GUIDANCE
BALI…usually the first thing you think of when you think of Bali is beautiful crystal clear beaches, gorgeously constructed Temples and villas out over the water. What you don’t think about is the weather, the humidity & heat, and the incredible amount of mopeds that come up behind you very quickly beeping their horn for you to move. You’re a pedestrian and they do not care! How dare you walk on the sidewalk which is used for scooters to cut around the insane traffic!
I’ve been in Bali a month now and have had a wide range of emotions, an almost daily roller coaster that I’ve battled. My first experience in Bali was in Ubud, sleeping in the rice fields at a very humble Homestay. The bed wasn’t ideal, the pillow about 6” thick…and no bathroom door…with a roommate. So we got to know one another real quickly!
Image Mark Winkler
I was outside of my comfort zone in every way imaginable. In addition to the adjustments listed above, the Wi-Fi loaded slowly so trying to manage my business was so stressful and a huge struggle. But on days where business was slow I couldn’t communicate with the outside world. Social Media, what’s that??? Family and friends, I’m assuming the apocalypse didn’t happen and they were all still happy back home in Texas. Sure I could walk .5 mile to find Wi-Fi and did many times, for that to be out as well! And when I found it I was +14 hours ahead in the time zone to the States, with no one to talk to anyway.
I knew no one. I had never had a sense of loneliness and aloneness until coming to Bali. At home I had friends or family that I could call when I was lonely or didn’t want to have dinner by myself again. But in Bali, I didn’t speak the language, was on a different time zone than everyone I knew and couldn’t connect to social media. I missed my dog, my bed and Wi-Fi…
So since I didn’t have the luxuries I was accustomed to, it was up to me to work on my mindset. I was here with a one-way ticket and didn’t know when I was going back to the home that I left, for a reason.
In addition to the modern day luxuries, Bali was speaking to me. My intuition and sensitivities kicked into over drive. The rainstorms in the rice fields are intense, I could look into the sky and see the birds circling, people would become energized to a level of a child who had too much ice cream.
And then there was me…I could feel my heart racing, hearing it throb and I would just start crying. I couldn’t control myself in any way. Mother earth was emotional, opening up and cleansing away impurities; while at this time I would do the same. Something from my past would come up and I would sit and soothe myself by crying, washing away the lies I had come to believe and the lies I left Houston to get away from.
My expectations of Bali and the peace it brings was met with a statement from the Universe, ‘If you want to bloom, you’ll need to walk through the mud first.’ And thus I took my first step into discovering who I was underneath all of the expectations I had laid on myself. Mamma Bali was calling me home, home to myself, she was there to guide me and hold me up when I needed it. I fell in love with this country…in all its beautiful chaos moving in some of the most exquisite landscapes I’ve ever seen.
