Remaining Stuck in Our Trauma … Means Nothing will Ever Change
One of the first things you obtain when learning to drive is being aware of your blind spots. Why? Because when you least expect it, something can seemingly “come out of nowhere”, while in reality was in your blind spot all along.
I’ve almost always driven large trucks or Jeeps, where there are several spaces for blind spots and tiny cars to hide in. Over the years of my driving I’ve thankfully been very protected, many near accidents have been avoided because I slowed down to look in my blind spot.
Have you had this happen too? You’re about to hit the gas to go, when all of a sudden there’s a car or motorcycle or pedestrian, who’s been sitting in your blind spot…it’s such a startling realization to become aware of.
And every time, we sit back and say something like, “Oh thank god I saw them! That could’ve been bad.”
Recently, I’ve been processing a lot of emotions, as well as clearing deeper layers of karma to help me see some of my blind spots and what might be hiding behind them.
This particular blind spot began to manifest to me four years ago, letting me know it was there but wasn’t going anywhere. I was okay with this because to be honest, I wasn’t ready to look behind the blind spot or deal with what was there.
I heard the message from my body during a journey one day, it said, “this blind spot is you being afraid of your power and potential, clear the blind spot and you’ll rise to your potential.” That was 2.5 years ago.
I heard the message, and I actively said, “I’m not sure if I want to rise to my potential, what does that even mean?”
I always share with clients and yoga practitioners, “listen to your body, and honor it when it’s ready to make a move". Sometimes we have layers to heal that aren’t ready to be healed yet because we aren’t ready to face the truth.
Perhaps you’ve experienced this or are experiencing it now…there’s some story held within the body, that’s asking for your attention, and though you know this, you’re not ready to face the truth.
The truth of the message can be scary when we let it, the fear of the unknown arises or the confusion thickens and we do what? We distract, deflect, ignore, procrastinate, etc. because we’re so afraid to make the changes needed, yet dee[ down we know the change has to happen, it’s inevitable.
I love the saying, “What we resist, will persist”. In other words, if we choose to ignore a need to let go in order to grow, when we continue to resist, the Universe will bring up the topic on repeat. It will arise on repeat in order to get you to a point of being so sick of the thing you’re avoiding, that the fear of working through it becomes less than the need to continue to avoid it. Ultimately we grow the courage to face it, process it, and move through it to the other side.
It’s in this phase of resistance that we can become stuck. At first the issue will present itself in a small way, then subtly over time increasing in frequency or intensity of what you’re ignoring until you sit down to address it.
The blind spot can be anything from your physical or mental health to the emotional body and repeat stories that circulate and create lies over time.
How do we get these blind spots?
Blind spots are usually formed from trauma.
It can be a coping or defensive mechanism that the nervous system creates to keep you safe. However, over time these blind spots become our way of being and keep us from growing and living a fulfilled life.
For example, the blind spot I’m working through was developed shortly after my divorce, I share more about this in my book, Making Space to Breathe. Following my divorce, as it happens with many divorces, you’re not only breaking up with ONE PERSON but a whole collection of people and an entire lifestyle.
In the wake of losing my friends and second family, who I was very close with, I developed a protection mechanism within my nervous system in order to keep me safe. I appreciate this protection as it’s kept me safe and out of the abusive pattern.
However, it’s also “protecting” me from getting closer to those I want to be close to. My protection pattern, while it served me for many years of healing is a place where I became unknowingly stuck in a “not trusting others” energy within my body.
Being stuck in this pattern hasn’t only affected my personal relationship but also my business. I didn’t know that this block was there and hindering every facet of my life until the past few weeks.
What’s happened in the past few weeks that changed, I released my book on healing from narcissistic abusive relationships. As the book is selling, the weight of this block is lifting!
I didn’t know the book and its launch were exactly what I needed to move out of the trauma of not trusting others, that I had become stuck within. I couldn’t see behind my blind spot, until I was ready to look.
Blocks develop in order to protect us, but if we start to live within the block, then it becomes damaging rather than protecting. If we don’t take the time to slow down and develop the courage to look at, process, and release the block, then we’ll stay the same.
This is why I believe history keeps repeating itself, we aren’t processing and releasing the trauma as a collective, we allow the trauma to become who we are.
I know many of us have various trustworthy issues developed through all sorts of experiences. This is a common one that takes some discernment to know when it’s intuition or when it’s a looping thought pattern. We can talk more about this in future posts.
We only change when we’ve 100% had enough!
ENOUGH of the trauma looping, enough being angry, depressed, anxious, sick, etc. When we develop the courage to look in the blind spots, we see the blind spot sometimes holds a cute little puppy and isn’t so scary in the first place. It’s easy to welcome, process, and release when we have the tools in place to do so.
If you want to know more about this, you can buy my newly released book, Making Space to Breathe. Or email me for one of the 1:1 coaching services I have to help you courageously look at the blind spot, process the trauma, and release it to no longer be stuck.
Do you ever feel like you can become stuck in a pattern that you didn’t know was there and is blocking you from finding more joy in life?
Resistance can manifest itself in many ways… Here’s a few myself and others have experienced as signs of what to look for within your life:
Re-occuring illness or injuries - i.e. allergies and all associated in this direction, migraines
Anger / rage
Depression / deep sadness
Impatience / irritability
Overthinking leading to anxiety or sleep issues
On your phone A LOT, finding you need to check it repeatedly
None of these symptoms are “bad”, in fact when you become aware they are the signs that provide you an opportunity for growth.
When you take the time to see the blind spot, process it, let it go, and allow yourself to grow, this is when you have the power for positive change in your life.
Photo by ennif pendahl on Unsplash