What does it mean to be resilient?
What does it mean to be resilient?
We hear this sometimes when we refer to children, “kids are resilient”; or when referring to a community after disaster has struck, “the community will bounce back”.
It isn’t often that I think of myself as resilient…perhaps you’re like me and also don’t think about this too much. We have a tendency to go about our daily life and routine, on auto-pilot, not paying too much attention to ourselves because SO MUCH from the outside world calls for our immediate attention.
So if as a collective, we aren’t in the habit of paying attention to the needs of the mind and body, how can we be resilient when life’s challenges arise? Perhaps we say kids are so resilient because they have a slew of adults looking out for them and teaching them how to “pay attention”, we teach them to be resilient, to “get up and dust it off”.
If you are busy paying attention to the world around you, who’s taking care of you?
In the infamous words of Forest Gump, “Shit happens”. Life moves in to teach lessons, open our heart, show us where we’re going right or if we’re headed in a not so good direction. Life school is here to teach us lessons on coming back to love and building resiliency.
Resiliency is defined as the ability to withstand or quickly recover from life’s challenges…
In recent years as I have worked and focused on my ability to “bounce back”, and strengthen my resiliency to life’s challenges, I have learned to recognize the signs of resiliency. And the lack thereof…
Here are some things I’ve noticed when there’s a potential lack of resiliency:
Fear of the unknown. My fear of the future is greater when my resiliency muscles are low. If I cannot control the situation my mind will sometimes reel with all the possibilities of things going wrong…I create the chaos within me by not practicing the art of letting go and letting God. We all know we cannot control what happens, yet that knowing never stops most of us from trying.
Anxiety. My anxiety will increase A LOT…I’ll find myself doing things that cause the anxiety to build, because I NEED TO KNOW what’s going to happen…this loops back into a fear of the unknown.
Grief. I have moved through waves and mountains of grief over the past few years, so much has changed in my personal life and collectively…all these changes bring up those stages of grief over and over.
I know I’m not the only one who suffers through these plus more when we aren’t feeling resilient or strong, when the pressures of life are really weighing heavily, as they sometimes do.
This past year has shaken my life upside down…at the beginning of 2023 I burned out…again. I couldn’t do anything except write my book and sleep…I had to step back from all other areas of life.
My resiliency levels were low, really low…I didn’t feel strong, durable, or confident. Life had come in with lessons I wasn’t prepared for, so it took me dipping into my bag of tools over and over to rebuild myself back up.
Here are some things that I did to help me rebuild my resiliency:
Nature. I spent as much time in nature as I could. Including leaving a busy and noisy island for months of peace and quiet by the way of a remote life.
Asking for help / building a community. Asking for help and being vulnerable isn’t always easy, but the minute I opened up about my struggles, those around me acknowledged they too were struggling. I wasn’t alone, and we could offer support when needed.
Processing my emotions. This one can be challenging, giving space and time for my emotions to speak and me listen, then let it go. I learned how to meet myself in love, though I was moving through pain and struggles. To give grace and self-forgiveness for working through hard times, and to accept that I didn’t always have the answers, I needed to live in faith and it would be okay.
I’ve learned so much more! Some days I look around and think, “this experience should be upsetting the hell out of me, but it isn’t…because I’m accepting and trusting the process.” My resiliency muscles have become strong!
A hell of a lot easier to write and say than to put it into practice.
Which is why I’m starting Resiliency Roundtable…a way for us to gather, to support one another in community and love, to help rebuild those resiliency muscles after life changes or challenges arise that are too big to manage alone.
How have you been feeling this past year or years…do you feel you’ve been resilient through some of life’s challenges or has it gotten the better of you at times?
Do you feel you have some wisdom to share or vulnerability to open up?
Whether you’re moving through a break-up, shift in business or job, change in financial status, or having a hard time navigating the new world that’s opening up around us, this group could be for you.
Resiliency Roundtable is a place to share and support, a place to meet yourself in love and acceptance for whatever you’re moving through, in order to have those resiliency muscles strengthen.
Join me for the first Roundtable, February 15 … this will be a weekly table for the foreseeable future.
We talk a lot about grief when someone dies, and not enough about the grief that arises when we aren’t feeling strong and resilient to the changes and challenges around us.
I hope to see you on the calls, I know we can be a support for one another, and I can help to teach you tools of resiliency over time strengthening those muscles.
For more information on Resilience Roundtable click the button below.
~ Johnna